Post-pandemic loneliness: people have forgotten how to get acquainted

Although the strongest and most protracted wave of the Covid-19 coronavirus pandemic happened back in 2020, we’ll feel its echoes for a very long time to come. Many experts are convinced that society will never be able to return to its “pre-COVID” state. And perhaps they are right.

Today we want to take a closer look at how quarantine has affected the lives of modern people, what changes have occurred in society, and most importantly, how to overcome post-pandemic loneliness, which has become the norm for many. We hope you find some useful life advice here.

The 7 main bad aspects of the pandemic and quarantine for society
Of course, there are many more consequences than this. But we will focus only on those we consider the most significant, and capable of fundamentally changing the social landscape of modern society:
1. Up to 46% of people (depending on the country) experienced a noticeable decline in income and living standards in general.
2. 9% began to experience significantly more stress, and another 34%, a little more than usual.
3. 18% experienced deteriorating relations with their spouse.
4. Social distancing has increased markedly.
5. About 41% of the younger generation (zoomers) experience a feeling of intense loneliness.
6. People began to meet less often in real life and were not so willing to go on first dates.
7. In many countries, after serious outbreaks of the pandemic, an increase in the number of divorces was recorded.
If we summarize these and other consequences, we can draw an obvious conclusion: existing social ties are collapsing, and new ones are being formed much more slowly than is required for the normal development of modern society. We’ve simply forgotten how to make new friends, maintain social ties and develop relationships. Given that the situation with the coronavirus is quite capable of repeating itself in the future, the picture could become even more depressing.

How to get out of the vicious circle of post-pandemic loneliness
We’d like to share the universal secret of returning to normal social life, only such a secret simply does not exist. Each person has their own formula, which for another will be completely ineffective.

Perhaps the best advice for people suffering from post-pandemic loneliness is to try to recognize and understand the problem. The fact is that many are simply afraid to admit to themselves that they are lonely. But until you recognize this problem, you will not be able to deal with it. 

You will continually convince yourself that everything is fine with you and there is no need to try to change anything. Or that things will get better with time. Unfortunately, this won’t work out. So consider your situation seriously, and admit that you are more alone than before the pandemic.

When the problem has been established, a clear goal becomes apparent — to get rid of loneliness and start making new social connections. In other words, make friends! At this point we want to provide some more targeted advice:

1. Start by maintaining existing connections
In an effort to make interesting new acquaintances, we often forget about existing friends, colleagues and loved ones. The advice is simple: if you want to meet new people more easily, communicate more often and for longer with your close circle. You will maintain your communication skills at the proper level and not experience any particular difficulties in interacting with new people.
By closing yourself off from your current circle of friends, you’ll only drive yourself more into a feeling of loneliness and uselessness. Be more open!

2. Remember: you’re not the only one who is lonely
As we said at the beginning of this article, a significant percentage of people today face a strong sense of loneliness due to the pandemic and quarantine restrictions. They are the same as you. It’s not easy for them to form new social ties either, but they also want them.

Therefore, the next time you meet a new person, try to keep in mind that they are just as lonely as you, perhaps even more, and this acquaintance is even more important to them than to you. This thought will at least help you overcome fear and self-doubt.

3. Don’t focus on offline dating only
In the 21st century, especially in post-pandemic times, online dating should be a preference. It is easier, more convenient and more comfortable for anyone who, due to quarantine, has literally forgotten how to meet people offline. Fortunately, there are a lot of ways to get acquainted on the Internet — from social networks and instant messengers to themed forums, streaming services and, of course, dating applications such as Hinge, Zoosk and others.

From our own  experience, we also recommend that you consider webcam chats as platforms for quick dating. Cam chat is a type of service that connects you with a random person via video. We can recommend some popular platforms of this type: Chatspin, coomeet.com/camchat and Bazoocam.

4. Be active on social networks and instant messengers
Social networks were at the peak of their popularity in the early 2000s, but today they are no longer in such demand. However, they are still excellent platforms for finding new acquaintances and keeping in touch.

To begin with, we advise you to look through your profiles in social networks, clean them of dubious content, add fresh photos, etc. Believe us, this can significantly increase your chances of a successful encounter and leave a more pleasant first impression.

By the way, even if you don’t plan to meet on social networks, they should still be put in order. New acquaintances will probably look for your accounts on the Internet. Make sure you don’t disappoint them.

5. If you can’t handle it, see a specialist
Psychotherapist Howard Foreman believes that the fight against loneliness should start with small steps — arrange a meeting with an old friend, sign up for a collective webinar, attend an interesting offline event, etc. Such actions will help you socialize faster and find a common language with new people more easily.

If you feel deep anguish and do not have the strength to change anything, it is better to contact a psychologist with your problem and not aggravate the situation. Believe us, sometimes the help of a good expert can be simply invaluable.

Loneliness is not a life sentence
Finally, we want to share one more thought. Many people believe that loneliness is completely normal and even beneficial for a person. But there is a nuance to that. A few years ago, even before the pandemic, researchers at BBC News conducted a survey of readers about whether they found loneliness to be a positive thing. Among those surveyed, 41% of people said that loneliness can indeed play a positive role. But these 41% are those who usually do not feel lonely themselves. However, among single people, only 31% perceive their loneliness positively.

We do not deny that someone without strong social ties can really benefit from this: concentrate on learning and work, develop your own talents and don’t be distracted, devote more time to what you love. But we must remember that we are social beings. And prolonged isolation can greatly worsen our emotional state. Therefore, do not drive yourself into the trap of loneliness and assume that this is normal. Take action now!