The concept for ‘Sex Tape’ reminded me a bit of this terrible film ‘3, 2,1, Frankie Go Boom’ I saw a few years ago. That movie was in my 10 worst list so I clearly wasn’t excited about ‘Sex Tape’. However, I did kind of enjoy ‘Bad Teacher’ more than most people I know and I like Jason Segal enough that I’ll watch him in everything. This lead me to give the movie a shot.
I can happily say it wasn’t as god awful as the movie I mentioned above, but that is not saying much. It possesses a lot of the stupidity that made that movie so mind numbing, but makes up for it just enough with a likable Cameron Diaz and Jason Segal to not make you want to gouge your eyes out. Still, if a criteria for quality is dependent on not wanting to rip your eye balls from your skull then you know there is something severely wrong with the film you are watching.
The set up for the movie is okay. It begins with Annie (Diaz) writing a blog on her mommy website about how sex used to be and how do you get it back. We then fall into the generic routine of parenting life that any parent knows and it’s filled with a handful of funny moments. Annie’s husband, Jay (Segal), seems to long for a sexual encounter that he feels will never happen.
Then, Annie gets some good news at work and they decide to celebrate by having sex. That doesn’t work out because for some reason they have forgotten how to do it correctly (which is really stupid, but there’s no movie without it). So, they decide that making a sex tape with all the sexual positions will fix the problem. They do it, she tells him to erase, and of course he does not.
All this set up is perfectly fine. It’s a bit dumb at times and devoid of laughs, but fine. Then the movie gets really dumb. It turns out Jay has given a bunch of iPads to friends and let the video sync to the cloud. So, instead of remote deleting it, he goes out trying to find them. Really he goes out trying to find one (there is very little to this movie).
This leads to an awfully moronic sequence of Cameron Diaz and Rob Lowe doing cocaine while Jason Segal gets chased around a house by a vicious dog. If you go see this garbage I’ll let you figure out the plot details for yourself, but it’s truly an awful sequence of sheer stupidity. Sadly, it only gets worse. We follow that section (which makes up most of the second act) with another sequence that is so dumb and irresponsible it might make some cringe.
I won’t ruin the last act (because it’s just wrong for me to do so), but I will tell you that it is completely ridiculous. That’s the biggest problem with this movie. Every attempted laugh seems to be designed around the premise that Annie and Jay are complete idiots. Yet, the movie opens with them being supposedly smart and successful people. Then they deal with everything like 5 year olds that have discovered their parents smut closet. It’s a pretty brain dragging exercise for the audience.
My advice is that you just skip this movie all together, but if you have to watch it then don’t do it in theaters. Wait until it shows up on whatever cable channel and watch it when you are bored some night. It may even help you go to sleep.