Movie Review: ‘The Girl’ From Michael Biehn

Review by Caitlin Zeigler

The Girl is about a man (Michael Biehn) who kidnaps and murders women. He neglects his wife (Tia Carrere), so she has an addiction to buying stuff off of infomercials. He’s also terrible to his son, Tommy (Tristan DeVan), who befriends his father’s next victim (Evie Louise Thompson). Tommy is told to never go near the shed, but does it anyway. He realizes that he has to save the girl chained in the shed, but doesn’t know how. He visits her and feeds her daily, but she doesn’t think she will be freed. Tommy has to help save her before it’s too late.

Premise doesn’t sound bad, does it? Nope. Let’s talk about the other parts of this movie. It’s a cheesy horror film with possibly intentional bad acting. If that’s what you like, it’s just in time for all your hokey horror needs. So the girl has powers, but doesn’t remember she has them until her vision of Helen (Jenise Blanc) guides her towards the very end. There’s no explanation of what, when, why or how she has her powers or why she didn’t use them differently.

Agents Jack Torrence (Nick W. Nicholson) and Jill Banks (Lorraine Ziff) randomly pop up and look for the girl. For some reason, Tommy can’t use a phone or tell a neighbor that his dad is a murderer. There’s no explanation of the agents other than they pop up to take the girl back “home”. It’s possible the makers of this film thought less explanation is more, they had a very tight budget or they really enjoyed its cheesiness.

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