Movie Review: ‘Bloodsucking Bastards’

Do you work in an office? Do you HATE working in an office? Do you feel like your boss is a soulless bloodsucking vampire? Have you ever felt like shouting “DIE YOU BLOODSUCKING BASTARD” to your boss? Then the comedy-horror movie Bloodsucking Bastards might be for you.

I have heard that the American workplace can be a heartless, soul-crushing corporate nightmare. But for Evan Sanders (Fran Kranz; The Cabin in the Woods) and his coworkers, the metaphorical nightmare is about to become a deadly reality as a corporate takeover by vampires threatens not only his career, as it were, but also his life.

Evan is a hardworking employee at a rather generic corporate office similar to those in other workplace comedies you may have seen (Office Space, The Office). He is the Acting Sales Director with his eyes on dropping the word “Acting” from his title. However, his efforts go unrewarded when his boss Ted (Joel Murray; Mad Men, 7 Minutes) ultimately hires the extravagant Max (Pedro Pascal; Game of Thrones) to fill the position and shake up the office.

Max and Evan have an unpleasant history that makes them immediate enemies within the workplace. But, their future is much worse as Evan soon discovers that Max is a vampire with the intent to turn everyone in the office into a much more efficient undead workforce. One by one, and in mildly amusing fashion, the low level employees succumb to the darkness while Evan tries to put the pieces together and figure out a way to stop the uprising.

Many stereotypical, almost one-dimensional characters populate the office. Evan’s girlfriend/co-worker, Amanda (Emma Fitzpatrick; The Social Network), opens the movie seriously angry with Evan due to his highly unusual response to her saying “I love you”. Evan’s best friend/co-worker, Tim (Joey Kern), is a slacker who goofs off a lot while waiting for quitting time; he kind of introduces the movie with the first line about “the most disgusting thing” he’s ever seen. There is also a security guard, Frank (Marshall Givens), who is a bit of an oddball defying a specific stereotype as sometimes he seems serious and stringent, but other times is easy-going and friendly.

The comedy is hit-or-miss depending on your sense of humor and mood. For horror fans, there are a few spine-chilling scenes early in the film and a lot of blood; the vampires in this film explode when they are killed for ostensibly no other reason than the gross and sometimes humorous effect. But the film is really geared more toward the comedy; think of it like a cheesier Shaun of the Dead set in an office with vampires (and less serious and realistic). The story is crafted nicely to get from one joke or scare to the next with a few surprising twists along the way. Overall, I found it entertaining and I would recommend Bloodsucking Bastards to mature audiences with or without a pulse who are looking for a bloody good chuckle.

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