Blu-ray Review: ‘Entourage’

In the movie version of the long running HBO series “Entourage”, the main villain, Larsen McCredle (Billy Bob Thornton), is an evil, rich movie producer from Texas who doesn’t really care for movies. He is only interested in bankrolling successful films in order to turn a profit.

Meanwhile, the boring, tired main characters of movie star Vincent Chase (Adrian Grenier), his manager, Eric (Kevin Connolly), his older brother, Johnny “Drama” Chase (Kevin Dillon), and Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) drink, smoke pot, have sex with random partners, drink more, party on yachts, work for about ten minutes, party in mansions, day drink, then find time to mope.

But the rich movie producer? He’s the villain. Ooooookay.

“Entourage” is an embarrassing display of excess and masculinity that will only truly appeal to the tight black T-shirt wearing bro crowd. There is literally nothing fun, new, or exciting to see in this ridiculous 104 minute exercise of Hollywood over-indulgence.

The movie picks up where the series ended and we quickly learn that Vinnie’s marriage ended after nine weeks and the only way he could possibly recover is to party in Ibiza on a yacht with approximately 150 topless girls. Eric, Drama, and Turtle show up and after some wordy, poorly executed dialogue meant to catch an audience up with these imbeciles, Vinnie calls his former agent turned studio head, Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven), who has a movie opportunity for him.

After the boring opening, director/writer Doug Ellin throws the gang into the making of “Hyde”, which Vinnie is not only starring in, he’s strong armed Ari into allowing him to direct. The production of the movie is chronicled in a TV interview with Piers Morgan that is a complete non-starter. It threatens to throw a stick in the spokes of a movie that is only twenty minutes old.

Ellin knows where his bread is buttered. When there is a lull, just throw in a celebrity cameo like Mark Cuban or Jessica Alba. If that’s not enough to keep the meatheads interested, Ellin liberally peppers in topless girl after topless girl.

This is what makes Ellin’s TV show and movie intolerable. After all this time, every single character is the same, living the dream life of a 17 year old boy. This isn’t satire. Ellin wants us to like these morons, meaning that we are meant as an audience to celebrate this debauchery.

“Entourage” does have a few worthwhile moments. Turtle has a cute romance with Ultimate Fighter Ronda Rousey (playing herself) that is fairly amusing, particularly when Turtle makes the mistake of getting in the ring with her. If anything, Rousey is the only female character not treated like an absolute fool.

Eric’s plotline is a snooze and Drama is simply comic relief, dropping non-stop one liners like haymakers that either hit or whiff completely.

The only saving grace in “Entourage” revolves around Piven’s Ari, who is so bombastic and egomaniacal that his sheer presence dominates the screen. There’s this glimmer of heart that makes his gay bashing of his former assistant, Lloyd (Rex Lee), or the constant knocking of his wife, Melissa (Perrey Reeves), more funny than cruel. Sure, he’s beyond arrogant, but Ari’s unabashed support for the people he cares about make him somewhat endearing.

It’s odd that the main character of “Entourage” is not only the most boring, but portrayed by such a horrendous actor. Adrian Grenier is awful. He offers nothing that makes you believe his portrayal of a famous movie star is possible as he himself can’t carry a silly movie such as this one. His brutal acting only makes the other characters, whose main goal is to sell Grenier’s Vinny to the public, that much tougher to believe.

If that doesn’t make “Entourage” an exercise in futility, when you see a clip from Vinny’s movie “Hyde”, it’s impossible to believe it’s good. Grenier as Vinny as some sort of futuristic monster/DJ is so preposterous and brutal looking that it undercuts the movie’s entire premise. You’re simply watching a bad actor play a bad actor in a ridiculous looking movie.

The final nail in the “Entourage” coffin is the appearance of Mark Wahlberg, who shows up with his own real life entourage that inspired this entire ordeal. Wahlberg manages to hock “Ted 2”, an embarrassing slap in the face to anyone paying attention to this blatant piece of meta-inspired marketing.

If Ari Gold were a real movie studio head, one would think he’d never green light the “Entourage” movie. Yes, it is meant to be fun and not taken seriously, but it’s world view is so grotesquely warped that it’s tough to overlook. It’s all glitz, glamour, and famous people, hoping to “ooh” and “aah” an audience into submission, distracting you from noticing you’re rooting for horrible human beings.

Own Entourage The Movie on Digital HD now or Own it on Blu-ray/DVD Combo Pack on September 29!

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