Blu-ray Review: ‘The Seventh Dwarf’

If you’ve ever dreamed that there was an animated fairy tale chronicling the adventures of Snow White’s best friend then ‘The Seventh Dwarf’ is for you. If not, don’t worry, because this is not a movie worth watching. It feels and looks like the cheap copyright loophole that it is. You know those cheap toys that questionably look like famous characters like Batman or Spiderman, but have names like Bathero and Specialman? This is the movie version of that with Snow White.

The plot takes a bunch of different Grimm’s fairytale stories and changes the names and details just enough to spare the wrath of Disney. Princess Rose is about to celebrate her 18th birthday, but at her birthday party she pricks her finger and falls asleep. Only a kiss from her true love can wake her up and since the whole ordeal is the fault of the seven dwarfs (now with different and moronic names!) they take it upon themselves to help her. Also for some reason there’s a dragon voiced by Norm MacDonald.

‘The Seventh Dwarf’ looks like an early attempt at a computer animated film in the late 90’s and its story plays out like a drunk frat guy reciting his stream of consciousness memories of a bunch of fairytales. If you want your children to grow up without good imaginations forcing them to sit through ‘The Seventh Dwarf’ is a good place to start.

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